Peanut has spent the last half hour on his little table eating oat groats, a sunflower seed, two flakes of granola, oat groat dust, sunflower seed dust, granola dust, and who knows what else. He's a very thorough eater, but his table is a mess. Partly because, you know, I don't clean it every day. By a long shot.

The situation is made worse — much, much worse — by the very large poop, covered in bits of oat groats, sunflower seed hulls, granola dust, and who knows what else, that's STUCK TO HIS BACK TOE.

You see, I can't touch his toes. NO ONE CAN TOUCH PEANUT'S TOES. No one.

If I'm lucky, he'll fly home, dust-encrusted poop intact, and clean it off in the comfort of his cage. I'f I'm unlucky, he'll land on my head.